This example describes the release of anger and frustration that had built up over many existences of being subjected to sexual violations and suppression while not being able to express what I feel about what has been done to me.
Pain in Sternum Represents Past Emotional Blocks
I have been releasing the emotions from past sexual traumas for over a year now. Six months ago I began to feel a pain in my sternum which represents many of the blocks I applied to cope with what I experienced. I can still feel the pain in the bone there, and every now and then, I am taken with coughing. But it’s now more of an irritated cough, rather than the gagging/throwing up that it was before. This is understandable as each time I have opened to these past stored emotions to let them go then the pain has been lessening and or changing as have the other symptoms that represent the sexual repression and trauma I have been resolving.
An Example of How to Deal with & Release Suppressed Anger and Rage
Each release has been dealing with a different set of emotions and or types of violation. This example describes the release of anger and frustration that had built up over many existences of being subjected to sexual violations and suppression and of being unable to express what I feel about what has been done to me. My cough represents me not speaking or not expressing what I felt, it is a representation of closing my throat down.
So, this morning, when working with my laptop in a cafe, my battery suddenly goes dead on me, making me lose my writing. A loud explosive “shit, damn it!” comes out of my mouth before I have the time to stop it. I feel angry and people are looking up disapprovingly from their cup of coffee to see who is the woman who swears like that.
Coughing and Screaming was part of the Release of Pent up Unexpressed Emotions & Feelings
I really don’t care at all, but I can feel this shouting in public has shattered something inside of me, in my sternum. I go to my van to drive to visit a friend 20 minutes away. As soon as I am in the van, I feel this need to scream. So I do. Over and over. Wild blood-curdling screams, as loud as I can make them. Never mind if people in their cars can hear me. I feel that’s what wants to come out of my sternum, so I let it happen. I start coughing very loudly again, I’m trying to dislodge this stuck “stuff’ I have. Tears come out, but they are not sobs as usual, more tears of frustration . . . . .
Soon, I arrive at my friend’s house, but I know I am not done with this release. I stop the van in her driveway but I can’t get out of my van. I am taken with coughing and screaming again. I know my friend is going to come out of her house to greet me and find me like this . . . . she comes close, says hi and asks me if I am OK . . .
In the midst of my coughing, I manage to tell her I am having a healing release (she has recently started doing WSW as well and has not yet experienced such release like this – maybe she needs to be aware of this as a possibility?). I open the door of my van to be with her but instead my body rolls onto the grass and keeps on coughing and screaming. I do that for about 5 minutes with her watching me and then I feel like I am done for the moment and I get up and we go inside her house.
I still don’t know if this sternum thing is done. My sternum gets really sore after such a release. like it’s been opened up from very deep. But what’s interesting is to notice that this release was different from the first one: No sexual images at all, but instead anger and frustration, at the idea of being confined, in prison, not free or be as I wish. It feels that this release was probably activated by the representation of being judged for swearing by the people at the cafe.
Some comments;
Symptoms of Suppressed Emotions & Suppressed Self Expression
Pain in the sternum is often from heart based feelings being betrayed, let down or not being acknowledged. Coughing in the ways described above is often a representation of you forcing yourself to not speak or express yourself in the distant past. Coughing like this is almost a way of showing that something that needs to be spoken or expressed has been swallowed. Heart burn is usually of swallowing down heart based feelings and expression. Maya never used to get angry or enraged even though she was repeatedly not treated well be men. She actually enjoys getting angry now and in fact does not see being angry or enraged as negative; which it certainly isn’t not unless you have things making and keeping you chronically angry of course or other things making others react against you or hurting you for expressing yourself openly . . . . . they don’t help much either.
Keywords: a sexual trauma release, releasing anger and frustration, sexual submission release, sexual compliance issues
November 25, 2009 @ 9:51 am
Maya, did the sexual trauma you encountered in your past lives include people around you NOT helping you after the sexual abuse incidents?
From the perspective of a rapist, being raped is bad enough. But for family and friends to withdraw support from the rape victim (for various reasons) and for police authorities to either NOT take the case seriously or worse, dump the case, is even WORSE. The stigma that the victim gets for being rape is very bad, but for justice NOT to be delivered at all will be the worst blow for the victim. For the victim’s social circle to silence the victim herself — that’s the best way for her to feel alone and isolated.
November 25, 2009 @ 1:44 pm
It’s very possible that this release was partly about this, Nina. . .since it’s started in a cafe with people looking down at me from swearing in public. . . I had no precise feeling of what this release was about. To me, it was it was just rage stuck in my sternum which I had to litterally ‘express’, like you would press on something to get the juice out. It was rage about not being able to say no when I had wanted to, out of fear, having to keep silent myself about wh, at I had gone through. . .
This sternum pain lasted a couple of years and lessened little by little. It was where all my suppressed emotions were stored. It’s completely gone now.
April 4, 2010 @ 11:49 am
I find it really interesting to read what people have written on here.
I have read Maya’s article and can’t help seeing the similarity of her experience and mine last night.
I go through phases with my current life trauma of early childhood sexual abuse, sometimes I scream, and I get very angry and sometimes sob uncontrollably, I know its part if the healing process but its hard too at the time.
I am spiritual too and am a medium, and I have been getting the cards of ‘past life issues’ so may try past life regression to see where my issues have come from on a soul level.
Jen
April 7, 2017 @ 6:12 am
These issues of sexual, domestic and general misogyny are very difficult.
I have a lot of current life issues from the above and of being ignored, attacked not respected etc. Am treated very poorly, always have been. Go through diff feelings extreme sadness, rage, upset to just trying to get on with things. Keep being grabbed and verbally attacked by men and women and no empathy. Also money being taken and no service. Good luck Maya, Jen, Nina, I know how challenging it is.
Yes treated appallingly when tell people and justice system uses against you. Also reminders on tv etc. Have a daughter and worries me etc for her but got to equip her.
We have to raise vibration and clear in diff ways. Yoga, meditation, swimming in sea water, music etc. Also to be in more greenery be great.
Am sure it is linked to past life issues as well. Am trying all these scripts to clear a lot even though not sure what works.
Warm, healing wishes