A controlled and internally guided and supported release of sexual trauma from a past life rape. Changing your responses to a past life trauma to reclaim your confidence, self expression and personal power.
My Experience of Dealing with Male Sexual Predator Approaches
This sexual trauma release happened a couple of weeks after a guy called Max disappeared from my life. With Max I had worked very hard to stand up for myself against his sexual predator type energies, games of manipulation and disrespect this is the subject of another example here. So I guess, now that I had gathered some real strength from my encounters with him, I was ready to deal with yet another deeply emotional release while connecting once again to the origins of my sexual traumas which apparently originated in other dimensions and other lives as I found out directly for myself . . . this is the story of this release.
Oh what a story!
Re-onnecting with Past Life Sexual Trauma
It happened one night in Paris, in an apartment overlooking the Eiffel Tower. My partner and I had just arrived that very day for a 2 month stay. When we went to bed, Mfundi started kissing my ear, for a very very long time. It had somehow an extraordinary effect on me, of such pleasure, but totally non-sexual – it didn’t turn me on at all – that after a while I started laughing with a joy that I had never felt before. I still remember the sound of my laughter. I have never laughed like that before or since then . . . When I stopped laughing, I told Mfundi how extraordinary the experience had been . . . So extraordinary I wanted more (well, that’s me) and I asked if he would be willing to try that again with another part of my body. He agreed. So I decided I wanted my breasts to be kissed like that, because the breasts are connected to the vagina, so I expected to feel increased pleasure and sensations. So here he went . . . But immediately, it didn’t feel good. My breasts didn’t like to be kissed, but mostly my vagina was starting to tighten up. Now, this is not a usual reaction on my part, not with Mfundi in any case, so I was surprised that my body was reacting that way. I tried to calm it down and relax, but nothing worked. My vagina was tightening up more and more and I was starting to hate being touched by my adored lover!! I actually wanted to scream to him to stop, but kept on holding on to see if I could change my reaction . . .
Inner Awareness & Visions of Previous Sexual Violations
Suddenly, I violently pushed him aside, sat up in bed and started screaming and crying: “no. no. no. please, please, don’t do that, I beg you!” I was not talking to my lover but to a Being I was seeing in my mind’s eye and who stood at the foot of the bed (now, for the record, I have never had visions like that). He was standing up and tall, was made of liquid silver or steel with a pretty much human shaped body. He was holding a rocket-like metallic thing, about 2 feet long and 10 inches in diameter and he was planning on pushing it inside my vagina . . . I was terrified. The scene was incredibly real and at that point, I didn’t think about a WSW set-up. I was really living the actual fear and trauma!
Mfundi was sitting watching me silently and I was screaming so much and crying and begging so much that he tried to calm me down and get me to stop. But I motioned abruptly to him to not interfere and disturb me. Now, I was realising that I was in a trance and that he couldn’t see what I seeing. But he instantly understood/sensed what was going on and just stayed next to me, watching me carefully, sort of guarding me . . .
For may be half-an hour, I cried as the Being wanted to push this thing in my vagina. I tried to close my legs off but he forced them open. I tried to recoil but I was tied to the bed and couldn’t move. I tried to beg him to stop but he was totally ignoring me, I could tell he had absolutely no feelings. My terrors and my screaming didn’t mean anything to him. I was slowly losing strength and losing the battle. He was going to win . . . and I was starting to give up . . . . . .
suddenly, the door bell rang!
Interruptions and Distractions During the Trauma Release
Well, it was something like 1 AM and the door bell was ringing downstairs, and it wasn’t part of the trance. I managed to get out of my trance to recognise what was going on in the real world and to tell mfundi to go downstairs and answer the door. He put his underwear on and went. I heard two guys talking: “We hear a woman screaming. what’s going on?” they asked in french. “she’s ok, it’s nothing” mfundi answered in broken French. The two guys were not convinced. They kept questioning ‘It sounds like she is Being attacked, we want to help her, where is she? we want to come in and see her . . . ” No matter what Mfundi said, they insisted. I realised I had to talk. I had to muster all the strength I had to be out of my trance enough to deal with the situation . . . the Being was still at my feet . . . . I was dealing with two worlds at the same time! I managed to talk to the guys very loud from upstairs (I could have never gone downstairs!) “I’m all right,” I shouted. “I’m just remembering bad memories, you know, from past lives. I’m safe, thanks for asking, I understand I must have scared you but I’m OK . . . ” “Are you sure? Can we help?” “Yes, thank you very much for coming . . . ” They made me promise to knock on their door if I needed anything, they wanted to be there for me . . . and they finally left.
As soon as Mfundi came back upstairs and it calmed down again, the Being started attacking again. But because of the interruption, a memory had come back to me. Clive had mentioned in one of his e-mails that if any such thing happened, I had to make the effort to change the outcome of the situation and act differently. The thought came to me that I was remembering something from the past which had happened – I had been subject to scientific experiments through rape or something, in other planets or other lives and this time, I needed to find a way to win the battle . . . to change my responses to what was originally done to me – whatever this was.
I am Passive No Longer; Reclaiming Your Strength & Self Empowerment
So here I go, deep inside myself, trying to find the strength to fight this Being. Until now, I have remained a begging and frightened victim, trying to protect myself, I haven’t dared to fight this guy. He is huge and looks very mean. I am afraid that if I fight him, he will kill me or torture me! But I know I have to try my best to fight him, if I want to resolve whatever I am here to resolve now . . .
I start coughing and spewing mucus through my throat, trying to find rage to fight back. It takes several minutes, and finally I find enough anger within me to sit up and face the Being and have the rage to fight. I start hitting him with all my might, slap, slap, slap . . . I am surprised that he doesn’t fight back. I keep on going. Suddenly, I give him a huge left-hand blow.
Releasing the Suppressed Rage & Anger of Past Sexual Violations
And his head comes rolling on the floor at my feet, all sort of bloody (sort of because it’s not real blood, almost another liquid). I stare in total shock at what I have just done: This guy was raping me all right, but it is the very first time in my life that I kill someone! I can’t believe I actually did kill this guy! I really feel I killed someone for real.
I was so shocked to have killed someone that I decided to call the soul of this Being to come in front of me, which it immediately did. I started speaking some sort of symbolic unknown language out loud to the soul: told the Being’s soul that I only killed that part of it, the part that attacked me, that it deserved it, and that, if that Being in one form or another ever came back to attack me, I would kill it again, so it had better go away for good. And I sent it on its way . . .
Sexual healing; Releasing Trapped & Suppressed Sexual Energies
Soon after, I felt energy in my vagina and in my throat . . . I stood up and spread my legs . . . suddenly, energetic garbage started pouring out of my vagina onto the floor and also out of my throat . . . it came out and out until I had piles of it on the floor, about 3 wheel-barrows full. I was astonished that so much stuff would come out of my body . . .
I didn’t want to leave it on the ground, so I decided to spread it on a field, like manure, and I instantly grew thousands of sunflowers on it. I did the same thing with the Being’s body . . . I buried it respectfully.
When it was all done, I felt good. I got out of my trance with no effort and back into the reality of the room. It was time to share my story with Mfundi . . . but he had watched me closely and had guessed most of what had happened.
We slept well after that!
It was another great WSW adventure, really! While the entire thing unfolded, a part of me remained watching the whole thing, so, though, it was very frightening in one way, I also knew on another level that I was safe and all was well, and all I needed was to live the episode at it unfolded. I was instinctively knowing it was a release set-up by WSW and I was actually happy it was happening. Though I screamed and cried, after I realised it was a sort of controlled set-up I relaxed more and it was easier to handle, it was very exciting to live something like that! Since then, I haven’t had anymore sexual fears or discomforts with anyone. So I think I really released the stuff for good, at least all the sexual stuff from that part of my life / that part of my soul.
Additional comments 1? I am one who likes adventure and wild experiences, so I guess WSW works with that aspect of me. For me, it was exciting to have that particular experience because I have never had multidimensional awareness before. I do not normally see or sense other-worldly things or people . So to be able to have access to those visions even in a traumatic way was exciting, almost like a present, really. I mean, I guess these things could be released in a less colourful way, and I’m sure not everyone would enjoy going through such stuff, but the WSW team obviously know my preferences! Such an episode makes a great and powerful story!
Additional comments 2? I felt very safe except at the very beginning, for a few minutes, when I first saw the event as being real. But that part was necessary to trigger actual fears to come back. After I realized it was a set-up, I was fine, at least the part of me that was watching over the whole thing was fine.
Additional comments 3? It never occurred to me that this was dangerous, even as I was living it. I was scared by the being, and my fear was very real, but I was never scared of the experience itself. I was not scared that I was becoming crazy or anything like that. I knew from somewhere that I was completely safe. Even the ringing on the door felt orchestrated, it got me out of my fear just long enough to bring back the memory that I had to fight back. The entire thing worked incredibly smoothly. Mfundi was there that time, but he was prepared by the previous stories so he could be supportive of me, rather than freak out. The fact that he was there sitting by me was reassuring, because it made the “real’ world easier to be aware of, rather than get lost in the trance. Really, the process is not only amazing, but incredibly effective, and just great. I wouldn’t give up those experiences for anything!
Keywords: sexual trauma, sexual repression, reclaiming your power, exerting your power, standing for yourself, sexual attack, sexual trauma from another existence