Four years on, i am begginning at last,to understand this ‘post’ of Maya’s experience, more deeply, fully. It’s been a difficult 4 years for me, relationship-wise, but at the same time it has been the most Amazing BEST too.

For those of you that don’t know me, i have been stuck in a love-less relationship that i could not ‘get out – off’ for 23 yrs. but at last I AM out of it, for sure. Doing WSW these last 4 years has managed at last to FREE ME of all that BOUND ME to my EX – Relationship Partner. We still live together in the same home and HE keeps the family financially, HIS choice, that i could accept, as MY HOME is his too. XX Life IS SOOO much Better these days between us.. WE finally GET ALONG after so many years of failour.. ThankYOU, Clive, Maya, WSW and ALL @WSW.. Forever in my HEART xx

If I’m not mistaken, even fashion for girls and women tends to perpetuate this ’sweet and nice’ image. It’s very rare for me to find practical fashion ideas that say ‘tough woman’ so I currently find myself rejecting many kinds of girly fashion even if many of them look good on me (ex. skirts, frills, ruffles, lace, sweet sundresses, mini skirts, short shorts, cocktail dresses, etc)

I’ve always hated being forced to comply with the social norms of being a girl, like wearing make-up, wearing gowns on special occasions, etc.

Thanks for the ’sweet and nice’ hint. Now I know why I’m allergic to being a ‘girly girl.’ Women are still being oppressed up to now. No wonder I feel that I’m not growing up (i.e. being assertive).

I hardly ever got angry as a child, never even felt any anger. My father was an angry man and one of my brothers also was and I was terrified of male anger for many years. My terror to trigger male anger turned me into a mouse who never confronted men or even said no to them.

The only time I lost my temper toward my father was when I was 16, and he had eaten a dessert my mother had reserved for me. I didn’t think he could hear me swear horrible words at him. When he showed up at the door asking if those words were addressed to him, I got terrified and grabbed a kitchen knife to protect myself because for some reason I was sure he was either going to kill me or rape me. I then ran and spent the night in the horse stable, shaking the whole time, sure he was going to find me and do one or the other. The incident was never talked about until 20 years later, at my brother’s funeral I asked him if he remembered the incident (in those days, i had been told by several people that my sexual issues clearly showed that I had been abused sexually, so I was trying to figure out if my father had done this in my very young childhood and I simply had blocked the memory). He laughed, told me that he remembered the incident very well and said “do you know why i ate that dessert?” No, I said. “Well, I was jealous that you were out with boys”. . .With Clive, we found out that my father never abused me sexually though he was not very clear himself about his relationship with me!! and that all my weird sexual issues all came from past lives.

With this work, you will get to reclaim your anger. It is SO necessary, and not only the suppressed anger of this life but of countless lives. When past and amplified anger is reclaimed, we can still get angry when it is appropriate but we can do it in a choiceful way without it going overboard. . .

I remember the adults around me stopping me from screaming, crying too often, and acting violently. They told me that the way I express my anger is wrong, that I’m hurting others (which is true), and that I’m being a bad girl.

That led me to the incorrect conclusion that anger is wrong so I ended up suppressing them, which of course damaged me later on in the form of myopia and extreme anger/irritability at the slightest offense.

I realize only now that the adults NEVER taught me how to express my anger constructively because they were CLUELESS themselves. (And of course, some may be blackmailing me emotionally to make me prone to their bidding.)

I do relate to your biting others as a child. I, myself, attacked doctors, dentist and nurses who needed to work on me. I seemed to have fighting power as a kid, but none in front of angry men later on.